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The Family Adjustment to Death

   In the past four months, two women with whom I was close and admired have died. One was Leroy Bowen, the wife of Murray Bowen, and the other was Clotilde Mauboussin, the “other grandmother” of my daughter’s children. Since I was asked to speak at both funerals, I spent time reflecting on the importance of these two individuals in my life and the importance of speaking at funerals. Funerals, and the preparation for them, allow us to pay tribute to the lives of those who have died and also prepare us for the shifts and changes as the family system readjusts. One can see that when family and friends speak about the person who has died, their relationship to him/her, and how they have impacted their lives, strong memories become available to the greater community. We are learning machines, so to speak, and each new experience can help us in adjusting to change. Read more...

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