The Learning Space Blog
Muses: Reflections on Affairs
AFFAIRS…..Sometimes people need the fantasy life to keep the real life going. Is this bad? Perhaps that’s not the right word. Complicated? Yes. Especially if you don't know this is what you are doing.
If you 'fall' for the fantasy life as if it's real, you have fallen in to a place that is very difficult if not bordering on impossible to recover from. I wonder if those who keep the fantasy life in that category knowingly if it can remain as such. Why do some need the fantasy to keep the real? Serotonin levels? Too difficult to be so serious? Attention issues? Boredom with the reality? Not wanting to grow up? To get old?
What about those second younger wives? What really happens to those who succumb to the fantasy? Does it work out in the end? Can it? At the expense of the kids for sure. The good old fashion growing- apart-and-divorce-happens before either person meets someone else. Is this better for the kids? Does anyone do this? They'd have to detach from the fusion to be alone. I think very few people are willing to take that risk. I say the majority of people who divorce do it with someone waiting in the wings. All very interesting to me. I suppose there is not one answer even though I wish there was. But this is the complicated nature of humans, relationships and life.
1 comment for "Muses: Reflections on Affairs"
Blog Categories
Blog Archive
- June 2019
- December 2018
- October 2018
- June 2017
- February 2017
- July 2016
- February 2016
- November 2015
- August 2015
- June 2015
- April 2015
- February 2015
- December 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- December 2013
- October 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- April 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- March 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- May 2010
About the Learning Space
"The Learning Space is a creative, energetic thinking space for individuals striving to live optimally in all their most important relationships. The Learning Space provides a conceptual space—a place to consider and experience alternate ways of relating."
Read More »
Upcoming Events
view events »Newsletter
Fill out the form below to subscribe to The Learning Space's quarterly newsletter, and get exclusive invitations to special learning forums and other events.
Hi Glennon, Interesting elementary reflection on marital disruption that challenges easy ways of thinking about leaving a marriage. In my personal experience, people may leverage the fantasy of a better spouse as a way to take action in an unhappy marriage. However, the likelihood of this outside relationship materializing is low. And maintaining the marital conflicts in divorce is a common way of avoiding the loneliness of detachment from the fusion. However, I think there is more variety in what affairs and divorce represents in the family system emotional process than students of Bowen theory think. There is a lot of divorce in my multi-generational family, clearly the preferred symptom path. However, the benefits of stepparents and their emotional and physical resources is an interesting outcome. I have found it more difficult as time passes to see all divorces as failures. Best, Mercy